Memories of Dan

Amy and kids,

I wrote this right after I heard of Dan’s passing. I want you all to know how important he was to me . . .

It’s amazing. I’ve only known of Dan’s death for about one hour, but I realized that I have thought of him at least twice during the past day--even before I heard the horrible news. And I haven’t seen or talked to him for several months. That shows what a wonderful impact he has made on my life. I respect him more than I could ever describe. He is an awesome man.

I thought of him this morning while taking my kids to school. It was snowing and I saw three neighbor kids walking along. I wondered if I should offer them a ride. Then I thought of Dan and a discussion we had about how it really builds a child’s character when you allow them to do things like walk to school. He told me about how kids learn and explore during those times and how we needn’t do everything for our children. I really agreed with him and admired his way of thinking.

I thought of Dan last night when we were having family scripture study. We read in the Doctrine and Covenants about the restoration of the Aaronic Priesthood. Troy was explaining to our son Nathan that the ward holds a father and son’s campout each spring to commemorate that restoration, which took place in the springtime. When Spencer Howells was in my primary class, we talked about the Aaronic Priesthood, and he told our class that very same fact about the campout. That was the first time I’d learned that. He had been taught very well by his father.

Dan is probably the most genuine person I know. He says what he believes and gives no pretence. I loved hearing him speak in church. His words were always straight from his heart. I loved the emotions he showed, especially when talking about his family. He believed in families. Dan and I spoke in the same sacrament meeting in the spring three years ago. Our topic was motherhood. I’ll never forget that wonderful experience of sharing my thoughts and feelings about being a mother, then listening to a powerful sermon from him about the divine role of motherhood.

I have admired Dan’s relationship to Amy. It was always so neat to see the passion they shared for one another. I could see the love he had for Amy in his eyes. I remember him teaching a lesson once in Sunday school, and him mentioning how grateful he was in high school to have this gorgeous cheerleader (his future wife) pay attention to him. He really worships her and she loves him just as much. They could love each other and tease each other at the same time. It was wonderful.

Of all their children, I know Kathryn best. She was one of my young women. I was constantly in awe of her testimony and knowledge of the gospel. She is such a delightful girl. I remember her refusing to let me pay her for babysitting when we went to the temple. Last time Troy and I went out to dinner with Dan and Amy, Dan talked about all of the wonderful experiences Kathryn has been having in high school. He looked so proud and so protective of her.

He is the best example of a family patriarch. I remember finding a Book of Mormon in their car once. Amy told me they keep some in the car so their family could have their daily scripture study if they are driving home on a late evening and wouldn’t have time. I thought that was amazing!

Dan has a wonderful, subtle sense of humor. I loved to see him sitting on the stand in sacrament meeting as Amy trudged in with all of her kids, some still trying to get dressed. I also remember a time when one of our ward members, John Neff, was reading a scripture in Sunday school. He has this wonderful, deep voice that sounds like a professional book-on-tape reader. When he finished reading, Dan made a loud “Beep” sound. It was hilarious. He was hilarious.

Troy served in the bishopric with Dan and loved every moment with him. It was interesting that Dan had once been a bishop, but was then serving as a counselor. Yet it didn’t matter at all. He was a great mentor and never showed an ounce of pride or superiority. Troy really missed him when they moved. They had a special camaraderie.

Even though I didn’t have a day-to-day relationship with Dan, I feel like there is a big whole left in the world without him. He is just a one-of-a-kind. I really enjoyed just being in his presence. I love his Simon Cowell-like smile. (That’s a compliment by the way.) It was such a joy and pleasure just to be with him any time at all.

I really thought in some future day I would see him speaking as a general authority in general conference. He has that kind of spirit about him. I am deeply sad that I won’t enjoy him any more in this lifetime. I would really just love to go out to dinner with him and Amy once more. I have no question about the eternal nature of his family relationship and the ability of his incredible wife to continue to raise that family in faith and hope until they will reunite.

Love, Julie Thomson